1. Say we don’t need a man…until our car breaks down. Then, we just want somebody to pick us up if we’re stranded and fix it for free (or really cheap).
2. Say we hate Valentine’s Day…until we get a man.
3. Say our man must be a Christian…until we meet the coolest “spiritual” guy who doesn’t believe in Church.
4. Say our man doesn’t have to have money…until we meet the broke guy who isn’t creative.
5. Say our man must be responsible, have a great sense of humor, have interests outside of work and/or hobbies…because we dated the broke guy who wasn’t creative.
6. Say our girlfriends are stupid for dating the guy with all of those kids…until we meet a guy with all of those kids. And they are cuz that ish gets old. #5 and #6 are often the same guy.
7. Say we don’t cook…and mean it! We will stand in the kitchen with the refrigerator wide open and ask ourselves if humus, celery, and cereal equal dinner.
8. Say we don’t understand what it means when we’re told we’re intimidating…because we honestly don’t. We’re just living our lives, taking care of what needs to done. What is intimidating about that?
9. Never discuss how messy our homes are…nobody goes in there except us AND maybe our closest girlfriends whose living quarters are in the same condition!
10. Say we’re excited about attending little kid birthday parties…and complain to our other friends the entire time we’re inside Toys R Us buying gifts for your kid. We always schedule somewhere else to be 90 minutes after your kid’s party starts for a reason…unless your kids birthday party is really a grown people’s party with five kids!
11. Say we’re not into gift exchanges for Christmas…because we really don’t want to tell our family and friends with kids that we are NOT trying to buy gifts for parents and kids. We want 1:1 exchanges!
12. Say we’re just like fellas and can have unemotional detached sex…and spend all of our time crying and fussing with our girlfriends when yet another attempt at detached sex fails to work out.
13. Say that we want a man to accept us as we are…but that changes everyday! Between constant diets and hairstyle changes, we don’t accept us; the fellas are confused too!