So the title of this post is a tad bit misleading because growing pains is actually a harmless medical condition that young children tend to get as they get older, mainly girls . Well, I think that there needs to be a “Growing Pains 2” for us 20-somethings. At the turn of my 23rd birthday I’ve been noticing something different about the way I view life. All the sudden I wanted to do more, be more, come up with the world’s greatest invention….ok maybe not that but you get my point. I all of the sudden felt like “OMG what is life?” because up until this point, I felt like I’ve been coasting. You know grade school, middle school, high school, college, and then BAM life after college, there’s no course in that.
Come to find out this feeling of where is my life going from here on out is a common thing for someone in their twenties. In fact, they have TONS of books written about and specifically for people in their twenties. They even have a name for it, the quarter-life crisis. Well honey, that’s exactly what it feels like, a crisis. And the only comfort that comes with it is that MOST if not all people in my decade feel the same way!
I can only speak for my gender on this one, but most of this comes from seeing a lot of your peers getting married, having children, working full time jobs. I mean they’re really doing this whole adult thing, and part of me wants to be like “Stop it right now, can we go back a few years?” Clearly this isn’t possible and really is a bit selfish. But luckily I snapped out of what I call step one of the quarter-life crisis, comparism, the detrimental act of comparing your life to someone else’s or belief that someone else’s life might be better than yours. If you’re in that state right now realize that , “the reason we struggle with this is because we compare our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel”- Steven Furtick. That is to say you don’t really know someone’s life you only see what they show you, so don’t ever believe you would be better off in someone else’s shoe. Your shoe fits you JUST fine and it will get you places the other person’s won’t. They might be wearing heels, but your sneakers help you get over that mountain. (I came up with that one on my own).
My point in all of this is to say for one, it’s ok to feel like you want better out of life. Actually it’s GREAT that you feel that way because it means that you want to change yourself/life for the better. What’s not ok is staying at that point and not doing anything about it. Below are some advice I have coming from someone who’s experienced this.
1. When ever I have a pressing issue, I look to books because I know that I’m not the first person to be feeling any type of way. So if you’re like me, look up one of those tons of books that are out there and dive in.
2. If you’re a spiritual person, sometimes these feelings can be a sign of your spirituality being a little out of sync. Getting in tune with that can make a world of a difference when trying to navigate through life.
3. Get a mentor. Like I said before anything you have or will go through, someone went through it first. Having someone to look up to or talk to really helps when facing an issue.
4. Make a vision board/life map. So you say you want a better life? What does that look like to you? Making a vision board/life map is an amazing activity that puts to life what you really want. If you’re not into cutting out pictures from a magazine, there are tons of resources online that let you do a digital one.
5. Daily affirmations. Sometimes we spend way too much time focusing on what we’re doing wrong that we never shed light on what we’re doing right. Make a list of things that you love about yourself and that you’ve accomplished thus far. Read it everyday. If you want to take it a step further, have a list right next to it saying what you want to accomplish so that you can add it to the first list. Start out small like “I want to try a new dish”.
Most importantly, realize that whatever season you’re in is just that, a season that will eventually pass. Don’t get caught up in the downs, cherish the ups!!
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